something i have to do for me
I’m writing this letter to tell you goodbye. I will never admit to writing this, much less ever give it to you, but this is something I need to do for myself. After our nearly four-year story, I’m letting go. You let go a long time ago, and I realize that it is time for me to do the same. I’m letting go of everything I thought that we would become. I’m letting go of thinking of you every single day, more than once. I’m letting go of secretly hoping that we will one day end up together. I’m letting go of waiting. I have realized once and for all that I am not meant to be with you. You know how much I cared about you, so I will not go into that in this letter. I have told you how I feel about you for years. I allowed you into the deepest part of my heart. I allowed you to know me better than I knew myself, and for that I am extremely regretful. I have learned that no girl should ever open up as far as I opened up to you. Nothing is forever, and there is no reason to be so vulnerable. I gave you parts of myself that have taken many months to get back. I put you above myself…something that I will never do again for the rest of my life. I am my top priority, no one else. I look back on our relationship and sometimes find myself wishing that it never happened. I’m not sure if I actually mean that, because, after all, everyone says it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I’m not so sure though, because you hurt me in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I loved you with every single part of me. And when we were over, I felt as if I had lost all of those thousands of parts. You left me broken... I still feel broken sometimes. Maybe we went wrong because of the timing. Maybe it’s because we were still growing into ourselves, although I guess there is no use in speculating why things worked out the way they did. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I want you to know I think you are an amazing person. I don’t blame you for the way you hurt me. I recognize that was not your intention. I know you will do great things in life, and you deserve every inch of it. God has taught me so much about myself this past year. In hindsight, I consider our break up a blessing. But, despite the fact that I have been growing a lot, I still have a lot of healing to do. In order to do that, I need to tell you goodbye. Because every time I make the decision to be your friend, I fall harder. When you kiss me, or call me, it is different to me than it is to you. I have learned that the way I care about you is much deeper than your present feelings for me, and I can’t truly move on until I cut you out of my life completely. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. This is something I have to do for me, in order to love myself again, and someone else. Thank you for everything you have taught me. It’s been a long, crazy ride. Goodbye, D.
Best Wishes & Love Always,
- The shield
- see me too
- [Single] Kameleo - shisakuhin. (16.11.2011)
- [Album] Kra - Naro to Torte [Limited edition] (26....
- No tricks just treats + a giveaway
- [Maxi-Single] DaizyStripper - Tsuki ni Juusei [TYP...
- [Mini-Album] Awoi - Children (26.10.2011)
- [PreviewS] YAMITSUKI - STORY [PVS]
- How to benefit from travel agents to assist in pla...
- [Single] Kiryu - Kyosei [TYPE-A+B] (26.09.2011)
- [Single] BAELSCOPE - EXCEED (21.09.2011)
- did I miss out on you?
- [Maxi-Single] BLOOD - Elizabeth (26.10.2011)
- [PreviewS] DELACROIX - MELL-MOTH [Mini-Album]
- [PreviewS] XodiacK - Deprival and Naturally [PV]
- stay a little longer
- [PreviewS] DaizyStripper - Setsubo no Freessia [PV...
- This is a public, birthday wish list for family an...
- [2 Album] MoNoLith - BRAZEN / Fiction & Non-Fictio...
- [PV] Tomodachi - a , zekkou hiyori .
- [Album] GalapagosS - Black Including All (19.10.20...
- [PV] MUCC - ARCADIA feat.DAISHI DANCE
- [PreviewS] Oyuugi Wagamama Dan X【PaRADEiS】- Patosu...
- JewelMint x Le Love Giveaway
- all the single ladies
- [PreviewS] MoNoLith - Mirai Travel / CANDY CANDE
- [Maxi-Single] Yôsei Teikoku - Kuusou Mesorogii (2...
- looking ahead
- [PV] SCAPEGOAT - EVERGREEN
- Bon Bon
- [Album] LM.C - ☆★Best the LM.C★☆2006-2011 SINGLES ...
- i'll wait
- Black and blue
- [PV] 2nd Dyz - Neo Gate
- to fall for the wrong guy
- [PV] Matenrou Opera - Otoshiana no Soko wa Konna S...
- [PV] Chemical Pictures - Togari Muneeso
- [Single] Acid Black Cherry - Shangrila (19.10.2011...
- [PV] exist † trace - DAYBREAK
- [Single] Crimson Shiva - VanishRaid (19.06.2011)
- [PreviewS] D - Huang di ~yami ni umareta mukui [PV...
- [PreviewS] REALies - NEXT⇒ [PV]
- where your mind goes
- [Album] JANGA69 - NEXT (05.10.2011)
- never going to go away
- [Concert] vistlip. - Revelation Space Concert (19....
- [Discography] SiM
- [Discography] DOWNER
- [Maxi-Single] Matenrou Opera - Otoshiana no Soko w...
- [Discography] MaitoreiA
- [Maxi-Single] lolita23Q - -HIKARI- (05.10.2011)
- Favorites from nowhere
- and then i met you
- [Discography] 176BIZ
- [PV] Viru's - Haru no hi to kimi to sayonara
- make your way back to me
- [Maxi-Single] GUILD - Autumn EP 2011 ~L'Autunno~ (...
- [Mini-Album] exist†trace - THE LAST DAYBREAK (19.1...
- [PreviewS] Ruddock - Rifureimingu [PV]
- [PV] lynch. - MIRRORS [PV]
- [PreviewS] DaizyStripper - Setsubo no Freesia [PV]...
- [Maxi-Single] Piko - Yume Hana (05.10.2011)
- Your words humble me
- where my heart is
- I'm designing a collection for Nelly.com!
- [Mini-Album] jealkb - AGAINST (14.09.2011)
- [VERSUS] MIYAVI (VS) HITT
- Styling with Nelly.com
- [PV] SiM - KiLLiNG ME
- i want to tell you how much I love you.
- [Albums + PV] OZ - DETOX (2009)
- Silver aztec favorites
- [PV] Aldious - Spirit Black
- [PreviewS] ViViD - FAKE [PV]
- [PreviewS] SOMATIC GUARDIAN - Kamikaze [PV]
- [Album] BLACK RUN - NEVERENDING STORY 00 (31.08.20...
- [PreviewS] JILLS BLUE ROSES -The Black Rose [PV]
- [Single] Fi'Ance - Daria (28.09.2011)
- [Maxi-Single] Viru's - Haru no hi to kimi to sayon...
- [Single] A -Anonymous Confederate Ensemble- - Blac...
- the art of letting go
- [Maxi-Single] THE KIDDIE - Utsukushiki REDRUM (28....
- [Album] DaizyStripper - SIREN (05.10.2011)
- [2 Singles] JILLED RAY - Voice / Plegde (25.05.201...
- Peppermint cappuccino
- to say all of this to you
- [PV] Sadie - Rosario
- [Mini-Album] heidi. - Sixth Sense (21.09.2011)
- [Mini-Album] VURNY - SILVER GANG STAR (10.02.2011)...
- Sporting the quilted coat
- love someone.
- [Single] Jackman - +4 (28.09.2011)
- [Maxi-Single] Misaruka - -Cailleach Rosary- (12.10...
- [Single] L'Arc~en~Ciel - X X X (12.10.2011)
- [VS] -OZ -v/s- DEATHGAZE [12.10.2011]
- I love you. I love you. I love you.
- [Maxi-Single] Sadie - Rosario (12.10.2011)
- Rewind and play
- [Album] MISSPRAY - It's not Goodbye (13.04.2011)
- ▼ October (147)
- ► 2010 (444)